Me, a Feminist?

A few weeks ago, a friend invited me to an intimate small-group discussion with the author of a new book. I completely read past the “who,” as in “who wrote the book,” and honed right in on the title: No Excuses: Nine Ways Women Can Change How We Think about Power, by feminist icon Gloria Feldt. I’d been thinking a lot about women and empowerment and had been developing events and content around this concept as an overarching 2011 theme for The Enterprising Moms — an organization I founded that empowers women who are growing businesses while growing families — so the timing was spot-on!

The discussion was so rich and engaging that I left feeling truly inspired by Gloria and the group of power mom bloggers who were present. Especially inspiring to me were the ideas of what empowerment looks like (it takes all shapes and forms), how and when it shows up in each of our lives, and what it means for our stories and the need to share them. We also talked about what a movement is, how a movement happens, and what it takes to create change, which, of course, brings to mind the feminist movement.

Growing into womanhood, I found the term “feminist” intimidating. It was a term reserved for those who were out there on the front lines, fighting the big fights, which in my college days felt like they’d been won. I was a bit out of touch with my identity as a woman and was more focused on putting myself through school. I didn’t have a great sense of how I, as a woman, fit into the world. The messaging I’d received throughout my younger years left me wondering what it meant to be a woman — literally. I grew up feeling like a tree with many branches, but without deep-seated roots when it came to my womanhood.

My now 82-year-old mom was raised by her grandmother. They didn’t talk much about such things back then. The morsels I did get were that my place was in the home and that when I grew up and married, my husband would lead and I would follow. Even at a very young age, I cringed at the thought and tucked it away somewhere, knowing that things would somehow be different for me.

In the past decade or so, I got married, bought a house, struggled to start a family, and eventually succeeded three times over. It was within that sphere of my own evolution where I, like a tree, began to sprout new branches and roots. My womanly roles as daughter, sister, aunt, niece, friend, and girlfriend evolved into wife and then mother, and more new branches emerged as my work life and career evolved.

As a non-mom employee, I watched as women around me struggled to meet the challenges of daily life at home and at work. And while I sympathized, I didn’t truly identify with them until my time came. And it did indeed come. I now find myself in the throes of those same struggles that I watched others endure in the days before I had kids. I’ve made some tough choices personally and professionally and have managed to craft a life that is both satisfying and rewarding, though it could be a bit easier some days.

And this is where the feminist spark in me gets lit. Details about the glass ceilings and hammers, the wage gap, and the lack of political representation all parade before us on a daily basis, whether we want to be plugged in or not. I am inspired by Gloria Feldt and other powerful women who sense the opportunities that are before us and are mobilizing with others to capitalize on them. And I want to be a part of it! I don’t want it to be so hard for the families of tomorrow.

So, am I a feminist?

If it means that

• I’m actively playing a leadership role in empowering women in all aspects of their lives
• I’m determined to create a more equitable and simplified life for my children and the children of the world
• I consider the impact of my choices not only as they affect me but also how they affect women in general today, tomorrow, and beyond
• I’m pushing beyond my comfort zone to advocate for my young girls and be a strong role model for them and their little brother
• I choose to align myself with individuals and organizations that also strive for empowerment and equality for women
• I use my influence as a leader with my work and social circles to further the causes of women

then yes, I suppose I am. One with roots!

While for some the definition of what it means to be a feminist may be quite different, this is what it means for me today. How about you?

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Carolyn Semedo is the founder and chief enterprising mom at The Enterprising Moms. She is also a work-life integration coach and consultant at Apply Within. She resides in the Washington, D.C., metropolitan area with her husband and three children.