Well, the summer days are waning, so many parents have made that inevitable trek during “tax-free week” to purchase what every well-equipped school child needs to make it these days (the supply lists get longer and longer). According to the National Retail Federation, back-to-school spending last year averaged more than $600 and is expected to be about the same this year. “Frugal” and “green” are what I’m hearing as families cope with ongoing unemployment and the rising cost of food and other goods.
We usually start by praying that no one has grown too much since last spring so we can make it through fall without appearing to be anticipating a flood (not usually successful). So off we went, and I found myself with my son and 10-year-old daughter in a large, well-known retail store. I was appalled, as usual, at what is considered appropriate for tweens (and even younger). Several years back, I wrote a blog about the rising sexualization of young girls in our culture. It’s only gotten worse. Padded training bras. Low-slung jeans. Sheer T-shirts. All in sizes eight through 12. So it’s no surprise that the current uproar over a 10-year-old model’s racy photos in French Vogue has brought the issue to the forefront once again.
We spend all summer trying to adhere to the “fingertip rule” for shorts and skirts (and heaven forbid if you have a gangly girl with long arms) because apparel makers seem to think shorter is better. So I was hoping this trip wouldn’t be too bad. Boy was I wrong. One of the first items we saw was a shirt that proclaimed “I am sexy glamorous.” No, you’re not. You’re 10. This was followed by “Dress to kill” and “What’s hot,” adorned with stilettos, mascara, and other “girly” things. This only reinforces the ongoing negative stereotypes about what girls should cherish and what a “real” girl should look like. Even my son was shaking his head in confusion.
Some retailers have attempted to counter these images with more empowering messages for girls, such as “I’m no high heel girl” and “You wish you could hit like a girl.” For me, that isn’t quite the message we need to send either, but perhaps it’s something in between. Pigtail Pals is one of many companies trying to overcome the stereotypes found in children’s clothing by promoting positive messages and images in their products.
In the end, we found a few appropriate items. Later that night, I sought refuge in my classic online retailer, which has not yet descended into trashiness and still allows children to be children for as long as possible. That’s what I want for mine.
Check out these resources for the girls in your life: Peggy Orenstein’s book Cinderella Ate My Daughter, the Girls Scouts Healthy Media Commission, PBS’s article “Raising a Girl with a Positive Body Image,” and Girls, Inc.
AAUW Dialog 
I have to say thank God for school uniforms. It does help alot in the “what will I wear today” argument and “but so and so wears ……. Saying that, my 14 year old will only only wear jeans and hoodies!!
I shared this post with my daughter-in-law and she followed up by sharing this link: http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/2011/08/jc_penneys_too.php
It is more related to other girls’ clothing topics that have been addressed in the past. It appears that this shirt, with a message we do not want our girls to get, has been pulled.
Most other countries put their school aged children in school uniforms for a reason. I speak from direct experience.
Uniforms are usually modest, reasonably priced, and can be passed on down to younger children. Plus uniforms stop the blatant narcissism of the modern American personality, bypassing all the self centered chat and finger pointing comparisons of the youth generation.
Children outside the USA are thus free to learn rather than indulge in all of the above at an early age. Does it have an effect? I think so because out of school those same children wear modest, simple children ‘s clothing. Nothing extraordinary here. Can Americans learn from this? Maybe.
Absolutely right, I also taught abroad-but the flip side in the US is “Children need to express themselves and their individuality.” I was stunned at the negative feedback from parents when I headed a group to get uniforms in our public school. We failed for two straight years, then I passed the torch. When our high school got uniforms it was wonderful-but they still try to bend the rules (I never knew you could get skintight khakis.)
I really appreciated the thoughts expressed in the blog and comments from readers. From a young age, our children are exposed and tempted by the crass commercialization and blatant sexualization surrounding them –from TV programming to sexy role models to clothing that objectifies and demeans them, Gender dignity and value take direct hits here. We all need to rise up, speak out and take action together, rather than bemoan these powerful, pervasive influences in our society. Parents, consumers, citizens must work together!
I’m so glad to see posts like this! My 8 year old is appropriately appalled at brands like Abercrombie Kids. She flips through the racks at our favorite resale shop and exclaims loudly “They make that for KIDS?” It makes me proud! She has plenty of time for sexy after she passes 18 and makes her own decisions. Until then, we’ll support higher rise jeans, longer skirts, and leggings under dresses that creep up way too fast with her long legs (4′ 3″ already and all leg). She’s a big fan of bermuda shorts and rarely will look at a skirt that doesn’t have shorts underneath. In her words, how will she flip upside down on the monkey bars without shorts?
She sounds like my daughter, who is too busy flipping and flailing around–and cannot understand the attire of some of her schoolmates–not to mention random people on the street. She’s very embarrassed by it.
Thank you for calling attention to what continues to be the profitization of corporations from sexualizing childhood. It is wrong and it must stop. Little girls are being taught at very young ages to objectify and sexualize themselves, and the companies making this crap can’t get it on the shelves fast enough in hopes of raking in the all mighty tween/teen dollar. Girlhood is not about being a sex pot.
But not all companies are like that, which is why I appreciate your shout out to Pigtail Pals as I continue to make positive and empowering apparel for girls. Thank you!
I can’t believe the way some parents dress their young girls. Even the schools can be bad; no daughter of mine would ever wear short shorts with anything written on the seat. And it’s fairly difficult right now for me to buy any shirts that aren’t cut so low my bra shows. I’m sick of the the low v necks.
I know Leslie, there’s definitely a different mindset on “how much is too much” these days. For the most part I see WAY too much of women (and girls) at work, school, on the street, metro, and play. Sometimes I wonder-am I just getting old? Then I hear from others that it transcends age.
When we traveled to Italy last spring, I was struck by the fact that Italian children were dressed like children. They wore simple, relatively classic clothing. Young girls were not “sexed up,” and the clothing of children of both sexes were free of commercial tie-ins to TV shows, movies, etc. It all seemed so right.
You’re so right, Paula, I had clothes bought 10 years ago in Paris for my older daughter that I saved for my youngest. I was so sad when she outgrew them!